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“It is our gratitude that makes us happy, not our plans”

Bert Hellinger


Friday, August 6, 2020


What a special day! A kind of coming out of a movement that has been in the air for a long time, but is now suddenly crystallizing out!

That crystallization began on June 18, less than two months ago. During a visit to Bert Hellinger’s grave. The day after it felt in me: “Du musst weiter”. (‘You need to move on’)

After that I felt uprooted for ten days and couldn’t even work. Well, it wás work, but not as usual. It literally felt like being sucked into a black hole, knowing there is clarity on the other side, but not what it looks like there.

In those ten days, together with Bibi and Barbara, spouse, friend and co-owners, the movement crystallized further: as good neighbors, each on her own and his own way moving on.

On July 18, the Hellinger Institute and its 20 colleagues were unraveled. Oh, how painful it was to literally let go of the strings with the Hellinger Institute and the colleagues.

Oh, how special it was to see those colleagues go their way and see them move towards their future.

What wonderful gifts in many forms fell to me there. Deep thanks to all those colleagues: Bibi, Barbara, Anton, Siebke, Yvonne, Marion, Marije, Petra, Maaike, Jochen, Mark, Sandra, Mayna, Nine, Alla, Rudolf, Ans, Annie and Lisa.

Three days ago Bibi and I were back at Bert’s grave. I had to smile, because anyone who has read Bert’s biography knows that he always came across, took decisions and executed decisions at the same pace as us now.

I am deeply grateful to the friends who stood by me, wanted to listen to me, responded to me, and were sometimes painfully critical.

I am deeply grateful to Dees van de Hoef for stepping in completely as office manager and ensuring that all formalities for setting up a new company and two websites, wich are ready and operational within two months. Thanks to Mirjam Strijbosch for the immensely fun and creative collaboration in designing both websites.

I wonder if and how we will meet again ……


Kobarid, Slovenia

Jan Jacob Stam