Marta, from Ukraine, says: ‘All my life I feel this pressure, movement, even violence coming from Russia as wanting to rescue us. Or salvation.
We do constellations, meaning that we ask other participants to represent elements of the living systems we explore. In total we are in this webinar on societal issues with over 70 participants, from Russia, Ukraine, Poland, the Baltic states and other countries.
I start to realize that the phenomenon Marta describes is happening more in this world. One country wanting to rescue the people of another country. One religion, social class, tribe, wanting to rescue people from another religion, social class or tribe.
We constellate Ukrainians (who feel this movement of salvation) and the Rescuer. It’s immediately clear that the Ukrainians come in the child position, and the Rescuer in a parent position.
And we notice, that the Rescuer actually doesn’t really see Ukrainians. The Rescuers’ gaze is more inward then outward. Where is she looking at? So we introduce: ‘That what wants to be rescued in the system of the rescuer herself’. It’s deeply touching that the Rescuer is prepared to look at what wants to be rescued in herself. That makes the Rescuer vulnerable. And she shrinks a little bit from parent position to adult position.
When we ask the Ukrainians to look at what-wants-to-be-rescued-inside-the-rescuer, she grows into adulthood.
And then the element of what-wants-to-be-rescued-inside-the-rescuer speaks: ‘When I’m not acknowledged, I turn into a monster’. Behold a source of violence!
I, Jan Jacob, coming from the Netherlands, say: ‘I suddenly become aware that all the suffering we caused in our former colonies were the result of this salvation movement as a cover up for what we couldn’t rescue in our own souls.
Ánd, connected to the here and now: refugees from Ukraine, refugees from Russia, they do not want to be rescued, they want to be given a place. How much do we, in our western countries, try to rescue the Ukrainians or other people? And when we have this tendency to rescue other human beings, to what extend do we repeat or even enhance the pattern of salvation? Are we really so much different from the Russian rescuer?
It takes some time to wipe off my tears after this constellation. And I’m not the only one….
Jan Jacob Stam
Soon, we will have space in our farmhouse for refugees from Ukraine. I’m very aware now that we can give them a place, that we can help them with many practical things, but we won’t rescue them.